This was especially a great message for me this morning. I'm a newbie to working and being a mother. Never have I worked a full time job and been a mother at the same time. Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home mom is not a walk in the park and definitely has it's own chaos, but working and having a child is a different kind of chaos.
I'm learning how to get home from work, unpack the diaper bag, prepare dinner for everyone, pack lunches for the next day, remind myself what I still need to turn into the daycare (a sheet, a blanket, diapers, tuition), play outside, play inside, figure out what I'm wearing to work, give Wilson a bath, get him in bed, spend time with Hudson, go to bed and then do it all over again. It's so. FAST. PACE.
I feel like my life is so busy and chaotic and fast pace and before I know it the day is over and it's one more day to mark off the calendar. I feel like I blink and Wilson is taller, or saying a new word, or doing a new "trick" that's hilarious.
Sitting in church this morning and listening to Chris's message about chaos got me thinking about how important it is and will be to learn to embrace the chaos. There's not much I can do to make our lives less chaotic. The diaper bag always has to be packed, we have to eat everyday, lunches still need to be packed...there isn't anything I can do to change that. BUT, I can learn to embrace the chaos.
There is an Office episode that I absolutely love- it's probably my favorite moment in television history. It's the episode where Jim and Pam get married. Jim and Pam have been looking forward to their wedding day FOREVER. They want to enjoy it in every way possible. But, the day begins to get away from them and they realize that instead of it being a day of celebration for their future as husband and wife, it's become a day of meeting everyone else's needs: Michael doesn't have a hotel room, Dwight becomes interested in one of Pam's friends, Kevin is wearing kleenex boxes as shoes. Prior to the ceremony, Pam accidentally tears her veil and tearfully phones Jim. They meet in private, where Pam expresses her regret over their choice to invite their families and the office staff. Pam is visibly uplifted when Jim cuts off his tie in an effort to console her. Jim and Pam pause and reflect before their ceremony and come up with a brilliant idea to take mental pictures of those special moments that you never want to forget so they will always remember them. It's just precious.
So, no...I can't change the chaos in my life but I can take more time to pause and reflect on how awesome my chaos is. Instead of rushing to get through dinner so I can get on to the next thing, I need to pause and take a mental picture of Wilson with his yogurt all over his face, Tupelo's face, the floor, the wall and enjoy him in that moment. Instead of hoping Wilson goes to bed earlier that night, I should pause and take a mental picture because he's not always going to want to spend time with his mother in the evening. Instead of watching the clock and waiting for school to be over, I need to pause and take a mental picture of how awesome the camaraderie is of the teachers I work with. Instead of watching the clock and waiting for school to be over, I need to pause and realize that I may never have the opportunity to work with these exact students again.
I'm learning to embrace the chaos. Because before I know it the year will be over, Wilson will be older, there will be another Super Bowl champion, summer will be here and then over and I'll have another year of chaos to embrace.
That yogurt I was referring to...
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